That Big O

What’s up with the Big “O”?
Orgasm. Yup, I said the word. We all want it, crave it and of course strive for it when we have sex, but do we really know what it is? Now, I’m sure some of you will say, “I really don’t CARE, as long as I have it.” These days most women want orgasms. That wasn't always the case. A couple of generations or so ago, many adult females simply didn't have climaxes – and a lot of them weren't bothered about it. Probably a lot of them didn't actually know what an orgasm was. But there is information you do need to help make it easier for you and help you understand the ins and outs of it…and maybe you can gently pass it to your partner to help them help you achieve it more!
So, what is an orgasm? Orgasm is the point at which all sexual tension is suddenly released in a series of involuntary and pleasurable muscular contractions that may be felt in the vagina and/or uterus (although some women experience orgasms without contractions). Orgasm is reached through copulation or masturbation.

During orgasm the body stiffens and the muscles contract. Involuntary muscle contractions and spasms may occur in various parts of the body, including your legs, stomach, arms, and back. The muscles of the vagina relax and contract rapidly, as do the muscles of the uterus. The glands of the vagina discharge a watery substance, which acts to lubricate the vagina.

The main physical changes that occur during a sexual experience are a result of vasocongestion. This is the accumulation of blood in various parts of the body. Muscular tension increases and other changes occur throughout your body also.

The difference between a "clitoral" and a "vaginal" orgasm has to do with where you are being stimulated to achieve orgasm, not where you feel the orgasm. The clitoris has a central role in elevating feelings of sexual tension. During sexual excitement, the clitoris swells and changes position. The blood vessels through the whole pelvic area also swell, causing engorgement and creating a feeling of fullness and sexual sensitivity. Your inner vaginal lips swell and change shape. Your vagina balloons upward, and your uterus shifts position in your pelvis.

There are several parts of the body that play into the orgasm. By taking a look at them and understanding what their purpose is, you will be able to get a better understanding to your body, and ultimately help you achieve orgasm more.
Clitoris
The clitoris’ only function is to provide pleasure for women. Researchers have not been able to discover any other reason for its existence, which is fine by us. As well, keep in mind that, because the clitoris is much easier to find, female orgasm is usually achieved via clitoral stimulation. This tiny organ contains a high concentration of nerve endings, and you can find it outside and at the top of the vagina. The clitoris is covered by a little bit of skin called the "clitoral hood," which keeps it from being stimulated all the time, so you may have to coax the clitoris out by touching or licking it. Once she's aroused, the hood will draw back and the clitoris will become slightly erect. And did you know that as women can experience our own ‘blue balls’? If a woman gets incredibly turned on, her clitoris, like the penis, becomes engorged with blood. If the blood isn't released via orgasm, she will experience discomfort -- just as men do.

Vagina
Inside the vagina, you can find the infamous G-Spot, or the Grafenberg spot. The G-spot is located on the front wall (toward the navel) of the vagina, between the opening and the cervix. Theory dictates that the G-spot can be either a bundle of nerves coming from the clitoris or a gland (or series of glands) that produces lubrication. The internal walls of the vagina itself do not have a great supply of nerve endings, thus are not very sensitive to touch. The outer one-third of the vagina, especially near the opening, contains nearly 90 percent of the vaginal nerve endings and therefore is much more sensitive to touch than the inner two-thirds of the vaginal barrel.

The "G" spot
The G spot was named for the German physician Ernst Grafenberg who first described "an erotic zone located on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra that would swell during sexual stimulation." It's a bundle of nerve endings about two inches up from the pubic bone on the inner, upper wall of the vagina. To find the G-spot, gently slide your finger inside her vagina with your palm facing up, then curling your finger up in a "come hither" motion. Be warned — some women love having their G-spot directly stimulated, while others prefer less pressure on this sensitive area. During G Spot orgasm, a large amount of fluid may suddenly gush out through the urethra. It is difficult to estimate how much fluid is expelled. I have heard amounts ranging from one cup to 2 quarts. The G Spot fluid is colorless, (urine is yellow), it smells sweet like clover, (urine smells like urine), it does not stain the mattress, (urine certainly does).

Let’s look at the four stages of an orgasm. Arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution.
1. Arousal
Arousal is sometimes referred to as feeling "turned on." It is a combination of mental arousal and physical changes. These physical changes include an increase in heart rate, rapid breathing, flushing, increased sensitivity in the genital area, erection of the penis, erection of the clitoris and swelling and lubrication of the vagina.
2. Plateau
During the plateau phase, sexual and muscular tension intensifies. The male usually ejaculates a small amount of sperm. It is possible to impregnate his partner with this release. Both male and females will feel increased sensitivity in the body and increased heart rate.
3. Orgasm
During orgasm, sexual pleasure peaks and sexual tension is released. The body stiffens and the muscles contract. Involuntary muscle contractions and spasms may occur in various parts of the body, including the legs, stomach, arms and back. For females, the muscles of the vagina relax and contract rapidly, as do the muscles of the uterus. The glands of the vagina (Bartholin's glands) discharge a watery secretion, which acts to lubricate the vagina. The male ejaculates sperm during this stage. Finally, endorphins (the chemical in the brain that causes feelings of happiness) are released. This stage lasts only a few seconds for males and females.
4. Resolution
This fourth stage is the period where there is a gradual return of the body to its baseline state. It is usually accompanied by a sense of warmth, pleasure and relaxation. This stage can be reached without orgasm. It also occurs when extreme sexual arousal ceases. Most males are unable to have another orgasm during this period of time, called a refractory period. The length of time in the refractory period depends on age and other factors. Many women return to the plateau phase after orgasm, allowing them to have a second or more orgasms very shortly after the first.

Usually, after one orgasm, guys need to rest (unless you have one of those lucky guys who can achieve multiples), but it's believed that women can experience three tempos of orgasm, which include the single orgasm, the serial multiple orgasm and the sequential multiple orgasm.

So, what now? You have the mechanics and the spots, where do you go from here? And how do you start to ‘train’ your partner in what you need? There are certain things that will help your partner understand what you need without having to get into a lecture. Most guys honestly want to please their woman. They do! They just don’t always understand that our mechanics are different than theirs. We need more stimulation than they do. We need foreplay! Yes, guys may be pretty much ready to go from the minute you give him a sideways glance or after he sees you in that one bra he really likes. But you, on the other hand, may need plenty of physical and emotional stimulation to become aroused, lubricated, and primed for an orgasm. That's why foreplay is so crucial.

Above all else, emphasize the "play" in foreplay. It's shouldn't be rushed or treated like an obligatory task. In fact, foreplay can begin hours before sex actually occurs, and every minute of it will prepare nor only YOU for an orgasm, but also him. Here are some tips for getting both of you in the mood:

Use your head. Remember that for women, mental stimulation is as important as emotional stimulation. A sexy love note, a flirtatious call at work, and other sorts of playful fun can get her thinking about your upcoming liaison. Candles, fresh flowers, and mood music can also create a loving and sensuous atmosphere. If you're not receiveing these with your partner, incorporate them into your activities.  If you need these, DO these! All these things can work for your partner too.

Tenderness. Touching can create sexual tension even before you've started making love. Hugging, holding hands, or touching your/his thigh. Female orgasm is more likely to happen if, when you're kissing, you gently direct his hands to more erotic regions of your body. (Another hint: Yes, the breasts are erogenous zones, but they're not the only one! Try directing his hands to your back or your thighs)

Kissing. This is essential to good foreplay. Discovering new places to kiss that turn both of you on is both fun and rewarding. Try the back of his neck or shoulders for starters.

Sweet nothings. Don't forget to talk during foreplay. Women tend to be more verbal and responsive to when told that what they are doing feels good. So ask him! Do you like this? Does this feel better? The more you are verbal with him the more he will get the idea to be verbal with you.

Foreplay tools. No, I’m not talking about whips and chains! Although, if you’re into that……I’m talking about using erotic touch, taste and smell. If you want your partner to concentrate on an area, use an edible powder in that area. Brown Bag Party carries a wide array of foreplay products, all designed to help you enhance your bedroom play (well, IF you play in the bedroom). Use a feather to enhance the sensations on his body, as well as yours. Guys are very visual, so if you touch yourself, it will enhance his sexual reaction.
Remember, ultimately, achieving orgasm is your responsibility as well as your partner’s. You need to relax and open yourself up to feeling. Give in to what feels good, even if it may be new. And most importantly, have fun! Sex isn’t a game or a race to see who finishes first. It’s meant to be enjoyed.

One other tip, and this comes from my husband. Ladies, if you think that guys don’t like all of the above mentioned acts, think again. Guys enjoy the feel of our hands running over their bodies, our talking ‘naughty’ to them, running our tongues on their skin and playing with their hair as much as we do. By doing what WE like to them, they get the subtle hint to do it to us, and is very rewarding to us in the end. Touch and verbal cues are the biggest thing in a sexual encounter.

Talk with your partner about what you like, and use different phrases to let them know what you DON’T like. There is a difference in “Not so hard, that hurts” and “oooh, do it a little softer, yeah, like that”. Since most guys are wired differently than us, they hear things differently. When we tell them “Not so hard, that hurts” they hear, “Stop now, I don’t like it!” even though we mean, softer.

To view more foreplay enhancement tools, please visit my website. http://www.lavishdelight.com/. You can also drop me an email anytime with questions or thoughts. lavishdelight@yahoo.com



Credits for this article go to:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/6375-need-female-orgasms/
http://www.everydayhealth.com/mens-health/female-orgasm-secrets.aspx
http://www.talksexwithsue.com/Gspot.html
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_200/216_love_tip.html

What's up with all the lube?

Being a Brown Bag Party consultant has given me the opportunity to learn about a lot of things.  One of the most common things asked of me is "What is the best lube to use?"  I can always give my opinion, but there are others out there who need more information.  Because of this, I've done some major research into the lubes on the market.  What I found was shocking to say the least!  Even stuff I didn't know!  So, I'm passing the information along to you.  Stuff like the use of lubricants has been shown to DECREASE your chance of getting pregnant.  Huh.  Who'd of thought that?  Well check this out! http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/infertility/lubricants.htm

As for the top selling lube, that would be K-Y.  In 2005, it was on the lable of 7 of the top 10 selling lubes, over 2/3 of the sales of lubricant, thanks to the creation of the warming gels and massage oils.  Well, guess what?  K-Y Jelly is also leading the way in the worst ingredients!  Here's a list of them:
Glycerine (emollient), Hydroxyethylcellulose (emollient) , Gluconolactone (antimicrobial, controls ph), Chlorhexidine digluconate (antiseptic), Methylparaben (preservative) Sodium hydroxide (preservative, controls ph).  So what does this all mean?  Well, read this and if you're a user, you'll want to throw it in the nearest trash can!
Glycerine:  can cause skin dryness over time and this in turn can make it more prone to absorbing harmful chemicals.  Glycerine has been shown to be toxic to sperm and it is also a sugar, so can feed candida albicans. Should be avoided by women prone to thrush.
Hydroxyethylcellulose:  a cellulose derivative also often found in dry-eye medications.  No known toxic effect; howeer, this ingredient is poorly studied
Gluconolactone:  Harsh alpha hydroxyl acid often used in the treament of acne.  Can irritate skin and eyes.
Chlorhexidine digluconate:  Often found as the active ingredient in mouthwashes designed to kill dental plaque.  Mildly toxic by ingestion; also a skiin and eye irritant.  Laboratory evidence suggess that it may cause cellular mutatins.
Methylparaben:  Parabens are known to be oestrogenic and exposure has been associated with the proliferation of breast cancer cells in the lab.  Irritating to the skin and may cause contact allergies.
Sodium hydroxide:  Can cause irritation to the skin and (if it comes in contact with them) eyes.

Mucous membranes are the moist layer of semi-permeable tissue lining the mouth, nose, eyes, vagina and anus. Because they do not have the protective layer found on the surface of the outer skin, mucous membranes can be damaged, irritated and penetrated by synthetic chemicals much more easily. Rectal and vaginal absorption is, generally speaking, many times greater than oral absorption.



You can read more here: http://www.yesyesyes.org/downloads/Ecologist_article.pdf

Let's take a look at the other top brand that's sold in most chain stores:  Astroglide
Here's a list of their ingredients:
Original liquid product
Purified water, glycerin, propylene glycol, polyquaternium 15, methylparaben, and propylparaben.
Ok, we covered glycerine, but what of the others?  Well as you can see, the last two ingredients contain parabens.  And here's something you don't know about them:  The FDA is currently preparing to force removal of parabens. Studies have shown a link to breast cancer, allergic skin reactions and damage to sperm.  Parbens are used in foods as well as cosmetics and the amount in the body is what causes reactions.
FDA MSDS number: M7700 effective 5/19/08 http://www.jtbaker.com/msds/englishhtml/m7700.htm
So, then what of this polyquanternium 15?  Well, read this! Polyquaternium is a newly coined word used to emphasize the presence of quaternary ammonium in the polymer. Quaternary ammonium can cause toxic effects by ingestion. Dermal [skin] application can cause irritation and allergic reactions. http://www.inchem.org/documents/pims/chemical/pimg022.htm

Uugg! 

Now, let's take a look at Brown Bag Party's top selling lubes and lets start with System Jo H20:
JO H20 Water based lubricant has all the benefits of the Original System JO Personal Lubricant, similar in feel and viscosity, yet contains NO OIL, WAX or SILICONE. JO H2O is 100% latex safe and manufactured under strict US FDA guidelines. It enhances your sense of pleasure like no other water based lubricant. Ingredients: Proypl Paraben, Methyl Paraben, Sodium Carboxy, Methyl Cellulose, Glycerine, Purified Water, Vitamin E.


So, let's look at Pjur: Super-concentrated making it longer lasting and much less expensive drop-per-drop than other brands. Designed especially for the the soft and sensitive skin of women, Pjur Woman Bodyglide is an excellent skin conditioner and moisturizer. Bodyglides do not block your pores so no clean-up is required after use, plus Pjur Woman Bodyglides never get sticky. Works well in water too!!
Ingredients:
Cyclopentasiloxane, Dimethicone, Dimethiconol
Silicone, much like mineral oil, coats the skins surface.  Siloxanes are a group of chemicals that are based on silicon. Silicon is a naturally occuring chemical element that makes up around 26% of the earths crust. This makes it the second most abundant chemical after oxygen! Silicon can be found in many minerals such as those found in clay, sand, mica, Opal, Amethyst and quartz.  Read more: http://realizebeauty.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/siloxanes-in-the-news-are-they-bad-for-you/
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-dimethicone.htm

As you can see, it's always best to know what you're using and how it affects your body.  Want more information?  Feel free to email me at lavishdelight@yahoo.com or call me at 715-497-9529

Brown Bag Party Leads The Way Again!

http://www.i-newswire.com/brown-bag-party-goes-phthalate/25233

Brown Bag Party Goes Phthalate Free - Romance Home Party Company Improves Products

Romance Home Party company Brown Bag Party announces its intent to discontinue the sale of any of its adult toys that contain Phthalates by October 1st, 2010

(I-Newswire) March 7, 2010 -

Brown Bag Party Goes Phthalate-Free
Costa Mesa, CA. - Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Romance home party company Brown Bag Party, today announced their commitment to completely eliminate the sale of any adult products they offer that contain Phthalates as of October 1st, 2010.

“I’m so happy to finally announce our new product directive, it will truly change the way customers look at our company. Our goal is to continually improve our products from not only a customer demand standpoint, but from a quality of materials standpoint as well.” said Peter Palmiotto, CEO of Brown Bag Party.

“While the use of phthalates in adult toys is still a hotly debated topic, we felt that it’s our duty to our romance consultants to remove any chance of our customers saying “no” to any of our products. Like it or not, anti-phthalate customers exist, and are growing in numbers. This improvement keeps our customers safe and happy, and our shows our consultants we’re committed to quality and consistently improving what we offer.” He added.

“Regardless of any potential downsides to the use of phthalates, if we ever have the opportunity to remove chemicals from our products, we should, and so should others in this marketplace. There are enough phthalate-free options today from the dozen or so mega-distributors that there’s no reason not to. We’d like to be as pro-active as possible.” Palmiotto explained.

“This is a big step for us and a huge capital commitment to change out 10 to 15 products. The good news is we already offer 50 adult products that are phthalate-free, so we don’t have that far to go. It’s been a personal goal of mine since our inception and are we’re now ready to go completely phthalate-free.”

For more information on Brown Bag Party, please visit www.BrownBagParty.com or contact the corporate office at 3303 Harbor Blvd. Unit B2, Costa Mesa, CA. 92626 - TEL: 714.557.0468.
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Always remember, you can contact me at any time!
Deanna
lavishdelight@yahoo.com
http://www.lavishdelight.com/
715-497-9529