Looking at vibrators and not sure what you really want? Just like shoes, not every vibrator is for every woman (or man). Each of us has our own taste in what we like and what we are looking for this toy to do. When you start looking or even thinking about a new toy, there are a few questions you want to ask yourself.
What do you want to use it for?
Do you want to use it on your clitoris? If this is the only thing you want to use it for, a bullet is the right choice. Bullets come in lots of different sizes, just like most vibrators and can be single speed or multi-speed with a pulse.
Do you want to put it in your vagina or anus? There are numerous types of vibrators that are designed for one or the other or both. If this is what you are looking for, you can also go for a straight dildo (non-vibrating). When thinking about insertion, you also need to think about size. Do you want big, small, in between? Since just about anything that vibrates feels good on or around the clitoris, phallic-shaped vibrators suitable for penetration can also be used outside the vagina if the vibration is strong at the tip. While there are vibrating sex toys made especially for anal use, most are not, so it's best to get one specifically designed for anal play if that's what you fancy.
Do you want both the full feeling of penetration and that all-important clitoral buzz? If this is what you’re looking for, there are numerous vibrators that have clitoral stimulators that will give you that all important ‘buzz’ along with penetration.
How strong do you want your vibration to be?
If you’ve never had a vibrator before, this is a hard question to answer. If you don’t know there are things you can purchase that will work, such as a multi-speed toy. These have low to high vibrations and can be used on low if that’s what you prefer or experimented with until you find the vibration that works for you.
How big do you want it to be?
Bullets and vibrators alike come in various sizes. You can get everything from purse size minis to larger phallic shaped vibrators that are very life like, to the ultimate LARGE sized toy. This is totally up to you. It’s what you like and what you are looking for. If you are looking for a more discreet toy, the purse size might be what you are looking for. You can also get toys that are not phallic shaped.
How much do you want to spend?
Like all things, what you are willing to spend is one of the questions to ask yourself. Big investment or small? There are vibrators and bullets in all price ranges for everyone. Not sure? Why not start small and then upgrade further along? This is a question that no one can help you with.
What's your aesthetic?
What do you like? Color? Size? Price? Does it ‘tickle your fancy’ just looking at it? As women, we like things that look nice and are functional. If it doesn’t look good to you, are you going to use it? Is it worth the money you invest if it’s not pleasing to the eye? Again, these are questions only you can answer.
Finally, when you start looking at vibrators, dildos or bullets one thing to remember is you can’t handle the product or get a ‘feel’ of the vibrations at an adult store. You can only do that at a romance party. Brown Bag Party prides itself in letting women handle the product to see if its what they like or not. NO, not like THAT! But we do allow you to hold it in your hand and feel the intensity of the vibration and the feel of the material of the toy. Consultants are also well aware of the questions that arise and can answer most of them for you with great discretion. Can you imagine asking the clerk at the local adult store if the toy vibrates very high? Especially if it’s a guy. Would you ask him the questions that you really want to know? Would he open a triple stimulating vibrator and put batteries in it for you to see how the beads twirl? You’d get a look of “yeah right”. You can only get that type of service at an adult romance party.
Never been to an adult romance party? Why not schedule a Brown Bag Party today and get all your questions answered. Visit my website today to request information on hosting a party. I can always find you a consultant in your area.
www.lavishdelight.com
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Older People Have Sex Too!
When I first started to write this article, I was only going to write about the changes in the body as we age and the sex that comes with it. Due to my research, my article has changed to include much more.
The population of older people in this country is on the rise. When I say older, I’m talking those 45 and older. Us older generation are still sexually active and have different needs than the younger generation. If you fall into that 45+ crowd, you know what I’m talking about. It’s more than the worry of pregnancy. It’s the physical changes in our bodies.
At this age, we, as women, realize that we are beginning to have wrinkles. Our skin loses its elasticity and firmness. It’s a prominate fact. Commercials on TV show us what products are best to use to help firm our face, our neck and our body. Promotions are abundant in skin care and hair care. But these commercials don’t tell us the other changes that are going on in our bodies.
At this age, we are on the verge (if not already there) of menopause. We stop ovulating, having our periods, and the extra flow of estrogen in our bodies. Commercials don’t talk about what else is going on with us. We begin to question why we don’t enjoy sex as often, why it’s more difficult to have sex and even to orgasm. We lose touch with our bodies because we don’t like or even fully understand what is going on inside of us. Our mothers had ‘the talk’ when we began to have our periods or even earlier than that, but the talk of what happens to us when all that stops was never there. We don’t have someone who is willing to help us understand what is going on now. And there is SO MUCH going on!
Our sex drive doesn’t really dwindle, it changes. And change is good! The biggest change in our bodies is with our vagina. It becomes shorter and more narrow. In addition, without regular supplies of estrogen, the walls of the vagina can become thin and stiff. This leads to vaginal dryness. Many older women also report slower response to mental or physical sexual stimulation; a longer time to become sufficiently aroused; or, in severe cases, a total lack of interest in or revulsion to sex. Decreased interest in sex may be temporary or long term, but surgical removal of the ovaries (due to cancer, endometriosis, uterine prolapse, or other reasons) can cause these changes to be sudden and sometimes devastating. Numerous drugs, especially selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), are known to cause reduced sexual interest. On top of this, the lower systemic availability of testosterone, the key promoter of desire in both women and men, can cause less interest in sex.
The good news is that researchers say there are no differences between premenopausal and postmenopausal women when it comes to being physically able to get sexually aroused. When researchers have looked at vaginal congestion — increased blood circulation to the walls of the vagina, which is a marker of sexual arousal — in response to erotic stimulation, they have found that older women are just as able to become aroused when they are sexually stimulated as are younger women are.
There are studies that show that for postmenopausal women, that is, women after they’ve stopped having their periods, if they don’t have a regular partner with whom they have regular sex with orgasm, that masturbation to orgasm – listen to this – will promote the health of the urinary tract and their genital tract and it will keep them sexually able to be responsive and healthy so in case they get a new partner they will be able to have good healthy enjoyable sex. How do you like that? So it will keep them sexually able and ready for the next partner to come along. And if you think that older people don’t fall in love, take my word for it, By the way, as a last comment here, this is true for men too, so if you are a man, and you don’t have a partner, and you’re getting older, it is important to keep your sex organs healthy and working and your orgasms coming and coming so that should you find a new partner it will work for you when that person comes. Because it’s actually true that if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.http://loveandhealth.worldgroups.com/Article.cfm?Article=137&SubTopic=18&Topic=2
Practicing masturbation techniques can help remedy some of these problems by stimulating the brain to produce physical changes in the vagina. "Masturbation, which may include stimulation of the clitoris, urethra, and vagina, activates various neural pathways responsible for clitoral swelling, vaginal congestion, lengthening of the vagina, and lubrication," says Cathy K. Naughton, MD, director of the Metropolitan Urological Specialists' Center for Sexual Health in St. Louis. Many women and sex therapists report the reality of the use-it-or-lose-it factor: regular sex, either with a partner, through masturbation, or a combination of the two, definitely helps keep vaginal tissues more supple and moist. Extended sex play before insertion is always helpful even if discomfort isn’t severe. Liberal use of a water soluble lubricant is often enough to make intercourse more comfortable. Having intercourse after a long time without it can be painful or impossible, but don’t give up. You may need to work up to it.
Masturbation isn’t just a crutch to use in place of partner sex. It is a self-affirming sexual activity and is eminently useful in helping to discover different routes to sexual pleasure. In national studies, up to 40 percent of women report that they masturbate on a regular basis, but this incidence may be lower for older women. Many older women may remember being discouraged (or even punished) for masturbating as children, and may still be reluctant to engage in this pleasurable sexual activity. Brown Bag Party carries a large selection of aids for first timers and for those who are ‘pros’.
Masturbation has several healthy benefits for the body. Here is a listing of some:
Health Benefits for Females
*Provides a healthy sexual outlet for people who choose to abstain from sex with partners or who do not currently have available sexual partners
*Increases blood flow to the genital region, which can help overall sexual functioning
*It can help teach you how to achieve orgasm
*Building resistance to yeast infections - While it’s general knowledge that regular masturbation can reduce the risk of prostate cancer in men, studies are showing that female masturbation can also provide protection against cervical infections because when women masturbate, the orgasm “tents” or opens the cervix.
*Helps with urinary tract infections - Masturbating helps relieve pain and it flushes the old bacteria from the cervix. It’s the body’s way of getting the
*Improved cardiovascular health and lower risk of type-2 diabetes. In a number of studies, women who experienced more orgasms, and overall greater frequency and satisfaction with sex — whether with a partner or not — were shown to have greater resistance to coronary heart disease (CHD) and type-2 diabetes
*Can help work against insomnia naturally - Hormonal and tension release. Many women masturbate as a means to wind down after a hectic day or to fall asleep at night, but they often don’t know that there’s a hormonal reason why it works. Dopamine, or the “feel-good” hormone, is on the rise during the anticipation of a sexual climax. After the climax, the calming hormones oxytocin and endorphins are released, making us feel the warm afterglow that helps us sleep.
*Orgasm increases pelvic floor strength - There are so many benefits to having a healthy pelvic floor. In the “plateau” stage of orgasm, the pelvic floor gets a real workout. The clitoris surges with increased blood pressure. Muscle tone, heart rate, and respirations increase. The uterus “lifts” off the pelvic floor, increasing pelvic muscle tension. This strengthens the entire region, as well as your sexual satisfaction.
*Combating pre-menstrual tension and other physical conditions associated with their menstrual cycles, like cramps.
*Relieving painful menstruation by increasing blood flow to the pelvic region. This will also reduce pelvic cramping and related backaches.
*Relieving chronic back pain and increasing her threshold for pain.
*Improves our mood - Masturbation helps relieve depressive emotions. As we become aroused, the hormone levels of dopamine and epinephrine soar in our bodies. Both of these hormones are mood-boosters.
*Relieves stress - In her book For Yourself, noted sex therapist Lonnie Barbach explains that the stress resulting from avoiding sex can create body imbalances. She writes that masturbation can help relieve emotional stress by taking time for ourselves, amidst the demands of home, family, and work.
*Strengthens our relationship with ourselves - When we know, love, and nurture ourselves on emotional and physical levels, we gain confidence and grow through self-awareness. Being able to recognize, articulate, and experience what brings pleasure is a powerful step toward fulfillment.
*Strengthens sexual relationship with partner - Many couples have different sexual drives and needs. Masturbation is one way to meet personal needs not met by a partner. It can be shared with a partner. Witnessing a partner masturbate can teach us what methods our partners use so we can learn what they enjoy. It can also open the lines of communication between partners who otherwise might be assuming that the “routine” is still working.
*Regular sexual activity boosts the production of the vital hormones estrogen and testosterone that strengthen bones and muscles
Middle-aged and older adults no longer accept such myths as "Sex is only for young people" and "Sex isn't important to older adults." A study, "Sexuality at Midlife and Beyond," conducted by AARP, illustrates this. According to AARP, 85% of men and women age 60+ report having at least one sexual experience (with another person) per week.
These are some of the findings:
*Five out of six of the respondents disagreed with the statement that "Sex is only for younger people."
*Six out of 10 people stated that sexual activity was a crucial part of a good relationship.
*Only 10% of adults reported that they don't particularly enjoy sex, and just 12% agreed that they would be quite happy never having sex again.
So, where does that leave us? Well, sexual activity is like riding a bike. You never forget how to do it, but if you don’t continue to be active in it, you’re rusty. As stated above, the use it or lose it phrase is true. The more you ‘flex’ those muscles, the stronger they get. If you continue to work out any other portion of your body, it gets stronger and healthier. The same is true with your pelvic muscles. If you don’t use them for a long period of time, they get lazy and don’t function as they are suppose to. You can now see why I changed the article to include masturbation. It not only FEELS good, but is healthy for the female body. And we all want to be healthy, right?? Masturbation is classified as to stimulate yourself in a sexual way. This can be done by hand, or with sex aids. Brown Bag Party carries a wide collection of adult aids for both men and women, not to mention lubes that are also needed. Our collection has everything for first timers to ‘pros’. And always remember, you can shop in the comfort of your own home. www.lavishdelight.com
In closing this article, please remember, if you have any questions feel free to drop me a line. lavishdelight@yahoo.com.
Sites used and credited:
http://www.womentowomen.com/sexualityandfertility/healthbenefitsofmasturbation.aspx
http://www.mckinley.illinois.edu/handouts/masturbation.html
http://www.lovelifeplus.com.au/Sex_and_Loving/masturbation_for_women.htm
http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/female-masturbation-health-benefits.aspx
http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/sex-and-aging/attitudes-about-sexuality-and-aging.aspx
http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/sex-and-aging/simple-steps-for-sexual-satisfaction.aspx
http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/regain-sex-drive.aspx
The population of older people in this country is on the rise. When I say older, I’m talking those 45 and older. Us older generation are still sexually active and have different needs than the younger generation. If you fall into that 45+ crowd, you know what I’m talking about. It’s more than the worry of pregnancy. It’s the physical changes in our bodies.
At this age, we, as women, realize that we are beginning to have wrinkles. Our skin loses its elasticity and firmness. It’s a prominate fact. Commercials on TV show us what products are best to use to help firm our face, our neck and our body. Promotions are abundant in skin care and hair care. But these commercials don’t tell us the other changes that are going on in our bodies.
At this age, we are on the verge (if not already there) of menopause. We stop ovulating, having our periods, and the extra flow of estrogen in our bodies. Commercials don’t talk about what else is going on with us. We begin to question why we don’t enjoy sex as often, why it’s more difficult to have sex and even to orgasm. We lose touch with our bodies because we don’t like or even fully understand what is going on inside of us. Our mothers had ‘the talk’ when we began to have our periods or even earlier than that, but the talk of what happens to us when all that stops was never there. We don’t have someone who is willing to help us understand what is going on now. And there is SO MUCH going on!
Our sex drive doesn’t really dwindle, it changes. And change is good! The biggest change in our bodies is with our vagina. It becomes shorter and more narrow. In addition, without regular supplies of estrogen, the walls of the vagina can become thin and stiff. This leads to vaginal dryness. Many older women also report slower response to mental or physical sexual stimulation; a longer time to become sufficiently aroused; or, in severe cases, a total lack of interest in or revulsion to sex. Decreased interest in sex may be temporary or long term, but surgical removal of the ovaries (due to cancer, endometriosis, uterine prolapse, or other reasons) can cause these changes to be sudden and sometimes devastating. Numerous drugs, especially selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), are known to cause reduced sexual interest. On top of this, the lower systemic availability of testosterone, the key promoter of desire in both women and men, can cause less interest in sex.
The good news is that researchers say there are no differences between premenopausal and postmenopausal women when it comes to being physically able to get sexually aroused. When researchers have looked at vaginal congestion — increased blood circulation to the walls of the vagina, which is a marker of sexual arousal — in response to erotic stimulation, they have found that older women are just as able to become aroused when they are sexually stimulated as are younger women are.
There are studies that show that for postmenopausal women, that is, women after they’ve stopped having their periods, if they don’t have a regular partner with whom they have regular sex with orgasm, that masturbation to orgasm – listen to this – will promote the health of the urinary tract and their genital tract and it will keep them sexually able to be responsive and healthy so in case they get a new partner they will be able to have good healthy enjoyable sex. How do you like that? So it will keep them sexually able and ready for the next partner to come along. And if you think that older people don’t fall in love, take my word for it, By the way, as a last comment here, this is true for men too, so if you are a man, and you don’t have a partner, and you’re getting older, it is important to keep your sex organs healthy and working and your orgasms coming and coming so that should you find a new partner it will work for you when that person comes. Because it’s actually true that if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.http://loveandhealth.worldgroups.com/Article.cfm?Article=137&SubTopic=18&Topic=2
Practicing masturbation techniques can help remedy some of these problems by stimulating the brain to produce physical changes in the vagina. "Masturbation, which may include stimulation of the clitoris, urethra, and vagina, activates various neural pathways responsible for clitoral swelling, vaginal congestion, lengthening of the vagina, and lubrication," says Cathy K. Naughton, MD, director of the Metropolitan Urological Specialists' Center for Sexual Health in St. Louis. Many women and sex therapists report the reality of the use-it-or-lose-it factor: regular sex, either with a partner, through masturbation, or a combination of the two, definitely helps keep vaginal tissues more supple and moist. Extended sex play before insertion is always helpful even if discomfort isn’t severe. Liberal use of a water soluble lubricant is often enough to make intercourse more comfortable. Having intercourse after a long time without it can be painful or impossible, but don’t give up. You may need to work up to it.
Masturbation isn’t just a crutch to use in place of partner sex. It is a self-affirming sexual activity and is eminently useful in helping to discover different routes to sexual pleasure. In national studies, up to 40 percent of women report that they masturbate on a regular basis, but this incidence may be lower for older women. Many older women may remember being discouraged (or even punished) for masturbating as children, and may still be reluctant to engage in this pleasurable sexual activity. Brown Bag Party carries a large selection of aids for first timers and for those who are ‘pros’.
Masturbation has several healthy benefits for the body. Here is a listing of some:
Health Benefits for Females
*Provides a healthy sexual outlet for people who choose to abstain from sex with partners or who do not currently have available sexual partners
*Increases blood flow to the genital region, which can help overall sexual functioning
*It can help teach you how to achieve orgasm
*Building resistance to yeast infections - While it’s general knowledge that regular masturbation can reduce the risk of prostate cancer in men, studies are showing that female masturbation can also provide protection against cervical infections because when women masturbate, the orgasm “tents” or opens the cervix.
*Helps with urinary tract infections - Masturbating helps relieve pain and it flushes the old bacteria from the cervix. It’s the body’s way of getting the
*Improved cardiovascular health and lower risk of type-2 diabetes. In a number of studies, women who experienced more orgasms, and overall greater frequency and satisfaction with sex — whether with a partner or not — were shown to have greater resistance to coronary heart disease (CHD) and type-2 diabetes
*Can help work against insomnia naturally - Hormonal and tension release. Many women masturbate as a means to wind down after a hectic day or to fall asleep at night, but they often don’t know that there’s a hormonal reason why it works. Dopamine, or the “feel-good” hormone, is on the rise during the anticipation of a sexual climax. After the climax, the calming hormones oxytocin and endorphins are released, making us feel the warm afterglow that helps us sleep.
*Orgasm increases pelvic floor strength - There are so many benefits to having a healthy pelvic floor. In the “plateau” stage of orgasm, the pelvic floor gets a real workout. The clitoris surges with increased blood pressure. Muscle tone, heart rate, and respirations increase. The uterus “lifts” off the pelvic floor, increasing pelvic muscle tension. This strengthens the entire region, as well as your sexual satisfaction.
*Combating pre-menstrual tension and other physical conditions associated with their menstrual cycles, like cramps.
*Relieving painful menstruation by increasing blood flow to the pelvic region. This will also reduce pelvic cramping and related backaches.
*Relieving chronic back pain and increasing her threshold for pain.
*Improves our mood - Masturbation helps relieve depressive emotions. As we become aroused, the hormone levels of dopamine and epinephrine soar in our bodies. Both of these hormones are mood-boosters.
*Relieves stress - In her book For Yourself, noted sex therapist Lonnie Barbach explains that the stress resulting from avoiding sex can create body imbalances. She writes that masturbation can help relieve emotional stress by taking time for ourselves, amidst the demands of home, family, and work.
*Strengthens our relationship with ourselves - When we know, love, and nurture ourselves on emotional and physical levels, we gain confidence and grow through self-awareness. Being able to recognize, articulate, and experience what brings pleasure is a powerful step toward fulfillment.
*Strengthens sexual relationship with partner - Many couples have different sexual drives and needs. Masturbation is one way to meet personal needs not met by a partner. It can be shared with a partner. Witnessing a partner masturbate can teach us what methods our partners use so we can learn what they enjoy. It can also open the lines of communication between partners who otherwise might be assuming that the “routine” is still working.
*Regular sexual activity boosts the production of the vital hormones estrogen and testosterone that strengthen bones and muscles
Middle-aged and older adults no longer accept such myths as "Sex is only for young people" and "Sex isn't important to older adults." A study, "Sexuality at Midlife and Beyond," conducted by AARP, illustrates this. According to AARP, 85% of men and women age 60+ report having at least one sexual experience (with another person) per week.
These are some of the findings:
*Five out of six of the respondents disagreed with the statement that "Sex is only for younger people."
*Six out of 10 people stated that sexual activity was a crucial part of a good relationship.
*Only 10% of adults reported that they don't particularly enjoy sex, and just 12% agreed that they would be quite happy never having sex again.
So, where does that leave us? Well, sexual activity is like riding a bike. You never forget how to do it, but if you don’t continue to be active in it, you’re rusty. As stated above, the use it or lose it phrase is true. The more you ‘flex’ those muscles, the stronger they get. If you continue to work out any other portion of your body, it gets stronger and healthier. The same is true with your pelvic muscles. If you don’t use them for a long period of time, they get lazy and don’t function as they are suppose to. You can now see why I changed the article to include masturbation. It not only FEELS good, but is healthy for the female body. And we all want to be healthy, right?? Masturbation is classified as to stimulate yourself in a sexual way. This can be done by hand, or with sex aids. Brown Bag Party carries a wide collection of adult aids for both men and women, not to mention lubes that are also needed. Our collection has everything for first timers to ‘pros’. And always remember, you can shop in the comfort of your own home. www.lavishdelight.com
In closing this article, please remember, if you have any questions feel free to drop me a line. lavishdelight@yahoo.com.
Sites used and credited:
http://www.womentowomen.com/sexualityandfertility/healthbenefitsofmasturbation.aspx
http://www.mckinley.illinois.edu/handouts/masturbation.html
http://www.lovelifeplus.com.au/Sex_and_Loving/masturbation_for_women.htm
http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/female-masturbation-health-benefits.aspx
http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/sex-and-aging/attitudes-about-sexuality-and-aging.aspx
http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/sex-and-aging/simple-steps-for-sexual-satisfaction.aspx
http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/regain-sex-drive.aspx
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Summertime 2010
Wow, summer is almost upon us already! The sky is blue, the grass is greening up and all the new little plants are poking their heads out of the ground! I’m so glad the snow is finally gone. This winter seemed to take forever, even though it was rather mild. I just hate winter months! Makes me depressed for no reason.
With the warmer weather comes a whole new slew of things that need to be done. We finally got our house re-sided and re-roofed. New bow window in the living room too! What a nice addition! Makes me feel like I really like my house again. At this time, I need to repaint both the living room and the dining room, but am still up in the air as to what colors I want to paint. Something in the green tones to keep it all tying together. Wanted something different, but hubby tells me we look mis-matched that way. Oh, well.
Baseball has started again. The youngest is now in Babe Ruth Prep and it looks to be an interesting year. He is back in Eau Claire and on a whole different team, which is good for him. Some of these boys have played together before, but JR has never played ball with them, only against them. He says he finally feels ‘home’ with this team. “It’s finally like where I belong”. I smiled hearing that! I love it when he’s feeling great! It should be interesting with the other parents. There use to be some bad blood there, but this year could be different. Frankly, I could care less, but it’s important to the boy that things run smoothly. He’s at that age where he gets a bit emotional over issues so keeping peace will be good.
Business is going GREAT! I know I’ve been posting some great stuff on here and I hope that you’ve all had a chance to read it. If you follow my blog on Facebook, make sure you click the link to become a follower. You never know what I’m going to post, so you don’t want to miss out. If you haven’t yet, be sure to read the post on Lubes. It’s loaded with tons of information and links to follow up on the research that I’ve done. Personally, I feel it’s very important to all women. I’ve been researching some new things and will get that post up soon, when I have all ducks in a row. You don’t want to miss this one coming up! It deals with sex and aging. Sound interesting? Well, I can assure you it is! This one has taken more research for me. As a woman wiho is almost 43, this is an important topic to me. I hope it is for you too! I’m hoping to have it posted by the end of this week. Look for it! And, as I mentioned, if you follow my blogs only via Facebook, you really need to become a follower here. It’s the fasted way to keep up to date on it.
Until, remember, if you have any questions, you can shoot me an email.
lavishdelight@yahoo.com
With the warmer weather comes a whole new slew of things that need to be done. We finally got our house re-sided and re-roofed. New bow window in the living room too! What a nice addition! Makes me feel like I really like my house again. At this time, I need to repaint both the living room and the dining room, but am still up in the air as to what colors I want to paint. Something in the green tones to keep it all tying together. Wanted something different, but hubby tells me we look mis-matched that way. Oh, well.
Baseball has started again. The youngest is now in Babe Ruth Prep and it looks to be an interesting year. He is back in Eau Claire and on a whole different team, which is good for him. Some of these boys have played together before, but JR has never played ball with them, only against them. He says he finally feels ‘home’ with this team. “It’s finally like where I belong”. I smiled hearing that! I love it when he’s feeling great! It should be interesting with the other parents. There use to be some bad blood there, but this year could be different. Frankly, I could care less, but it’s important to the boy that things run smoothly. He’s at that age where he gets a bit emotional over issues so keeping peace will be good.
Business is going GREAT! I know I’ve been posting some great stuff on here and I hope that you’ve all had a chance to read it. If you follow my blog on Facebook, make sure you click the link to become a follower. You never know what I’m going to post, so you don’t want to miss out. If you haven’t yet, be sure to read the post on Lubes. It’s loaded with tons of information and links to follow up on the research that I’ve done. Personally, I feel it’s very important to all women. I’ve been researching some new things and will get that post up soon, when I have all ducks in a row. You don’t want to miss this one coming up! It deals with sex and aging. Sound interesting? Well, I can assure you it is! This one has taken more research for me. As a woman wiho is almost 43, this is an important topic to me. I hope it is for you too! I’m hoping to have it posted by the end of this week. Look for it! And, as I mentioned, if you follow my blogs only via Facebook, you really need to become a follower here. It’s the fasted way to keep up to date on it.
Until, remember, if you have any questions, you can shoot me an email.
lavishdelight@yahoo.com
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Is your relationship in a rut?
Spicing up your relationship
Is your relationship stagnant? Do you need a bit more spice to make it better? When a relationship hits a certain time period, things start to slow down. That honeymoon period is over and your left wondering what happened to the fire that brought you together in the first place. This is common, but doesn’t have to affect your love life. There are lots of things you can do that will heat up the bedroom and more!
The first thing you want to do is evaluate what it was that turned you on then, but doesn’t work now. Maybe the ‘make out’ sessions have gotten shorter, or that quirk your partner has that use to be the biggest turn on is not really a turn on. Make a list of what used to be and what you are looking for now. Maybe it’s a bit more adventure, a little more naughtiness that you need. There’s no need to be shy when you make this list. You’re the only one who’s going to read it. Be honest with yourself. What is it that you need or what is it you see lacking? Maybe you’ve gotten lazy with making the first move. Maybe you’ve gotten use to just taking all given and not reciprocating in return. Once you have this list made, go back over it. If there is any recurring theme in the list, think how to change it. Your sexual relationship is part of a bigger picture, your whole relationship. Are you willing to make changes? Is your partner? Are you willing to talk about it without it becoming an argument?
Sometimes starting back at the beginning will make things seem hotter again. Maybe you spent more time on your appearance, were more tuned in when your partner and you were talking. Maybe it’s simply you were willing to make the effort then because you wanted this person. If you can step back in time, to that first time, what was it that made you feel as if you were seeing fireworks? Try to recapture that feeling again.
At some point in a relationship, all couples look for a bit more, a bit more naughtiness. It could be as simple as ‘dressing up’. Use a costume or a piece of sexy lingerie to help ignite the spark. It could be a new position, or a new ‘place’ to play. If you only have sex in your bedroom, try adding in the bathroom. Take the initiative to approach your partner in the shower. A little rubbing action with your body is bound to make the shower hotter than what the water is! You might even hear a sizzle in there too! Add some adventure to the mix.
Look into edibles. These are the least intimidating items you can incorporate in to your lovemaking sessions. Edibles come in a big array, from powders to lubes, to enhancers. If you’re looking for your partner to concentrate on a certain area more than they normally would, add an edible to it. It will likely keep them in that sensitive area longer, and get you primed faster than without it. You can use edibles with a sensory aid, like a powder brush or feather. Never underestimate the power of touch. It’s what we all crave. It’s called foreplay. The more foreplay added to your lovemaking, the better it is for both of you. Just remember to give as good as you get!
Create a ‘date’ box. Each of you write down fantasies you have. Mild or wild, it’s all good! Each time you think you’re lacking agree to pull a slip from the box and live your fantasy. Don’t feel guilty over what your fantasies are. That’s why they are fantasies. But remember, it’s still ok to say no. So if your partner has written down “I want to screw you in front of a huge crowd with everyone watching” and you’re not comfortable with that (and honestly, I don’t know many who would be) compromise. Have your fantasy session in front of an open window, or in a public bathroom. Compromise is the key here.
Talk dirty! Every guy and gal loves it when their partner takes the lead and talks dirty to them. It can be using the word ‘fuck’ more than before or having the partner tell you what he/she is going to do before they do it. The anticipation is what a lot of people find most exciting! Knowing what’s going to happen before it does and waiting for it. Share your fantasies with your partner, even if they are far-fetched! Just giving voice to some of them is putting them into reality. Communication is key. Words like harder, faster, oh god yes, can spur your partner into more action. Your love life is not the place to be quiet. If your partner doesn’t know what you like, how is he/she going to do it?
If you haven’t yet, buy a new adult toy to use in your sessions. It can be something as simple as a bullet or as wild as a huge dildo. Just having it available during your session increases your anticipation of using it. Again, it’s key to talk to your partner on what’s ok and what isn’t. You don’t want to pull out a butt plug and hand cuffs and cuff your partner up to the bedpost and then use the plug unless you’re sure they are into that. I always say, start small and work up to that. Read up on what toys are good for what, or better yet, contact your local romance party rep and talk to them. They are more informative on touch and toys than your local store is. Besides, would you want to talk to a perfect stranger about a toy? Here would be the conversation:
“Uhm, yeah, so this double vibrator, the one with the rabbit on it, yeah, that one…Is it going to be what I want to get him turned on?”
You would get the ‘look’ from the clerk and they would hand you a line. With your consultant, he/she will know what your talking about and give you pointers of how to use it with your partner. New to toys? Your consultant can help you find a toy that will work for what you’re looking for. And the nice thing of talking with your consultant is it’s all private. You don’t have anyone else standing in line listening to your conversation and smirking at you! Believe me, being a romance consultant, I’ve heard it all!
With these little tips and tricks, you can turn your stale love life into that steamy sex that you used to have and still crave. You can always email me directly with any questions, lavishdelight@yahoo.com.
Is your relationship stagnant? Do you need a bit more spice to make it better? When a relationship hits a certain time period, things start to slow down. That honeymoon period is over and your left wondering what happened to the fire that brought you together in the first place. This is common, but doesn’t have to affect your love life. There are lots of things you can do that will heat up the bedroom and more!
The first thing you want to do is evaluate what it was that turned you on then, but doesn’t work now. Maybe the ‘make out’ sessions have gotten shorter, or that quirk your partner has that use to be the biggest turn on is not really a turn on. Make a list of what used to be and what you are looking for now. Maybe it’s a bit more adventure, a little more naughtiness that you need. There’s no need to be shy when you make this list. You’re the only one who’s going to read it. Be honest with yourself. What is it that you need or what is it you see lacking? Maybe you’ve gotten lazy with making the first move. Maybe you’ve gotten use to just taking all given and not reciprocating in return. Once you have this list made, go back over it. If there is any recurring theme in the list, think how to change it. Your sexual relationship is part of a bigger picture, your whole relationship. Are you willing to make changes? Is your partner? Are you willing to talk about it without it becoming an argument?
Sometimes starting back at the beginning will make things seem hotter again. Maybe you spent more time on your appearance, were more tuned in when your partner and you were talking. Maybe it’s simply you were willing to make the effort then because you wanted this person. If you can step back in time, to that first time, what was it that made you feel as if you were seeing fireworks? Try to recapture that feeling again.
At some point in a relationship, all couples look for a bit more, a bit more naughtiness. It could be as simple as ‘dressing up’. Use a costume or a piece of sexy lingerie to help ignite the spark. It could be a new position, or a new ‘place’ to play. If you only have sex in your bedroom, try adding in the bathroom. Take the initiative to approach your partner in the shower. A little rubbing action with your body is bound to make the shower hotter than what the water is! You might even hear a sizzle in there too! Add some adventure to the mix.
Look into edibles. These are the least intimidating items you can incorporate in to your lovemaking sessions. Edibles come in a big array, from powders to lubes, to enhancers. If you’re looking for your partner to concentrate on a certain area more than they normally would, add an edible to it. It will likely keep them in that sensitive area longer, and get you primed faster than without it. You can use edibles with a sensory aid, like a powder brush or feather. Never underestimate the power of touch. It’s what we all crave. It’s called foreplay. The more foreplay added to your lovemaking, the better it is for both of you. Just remember to give as good as you get!
Create a ‘date’ box. Each of you write down fantasies you have. Mild or wild, it’s all good! Each time you think you’re lacking agree to pull a slip from the box and live your fantasy. Don’t feel guilty over what your fantasies are. That’s why they are fantasies. But remember, it’s still ok to say no. So if your partner has written down “I want to screw you in front of a huge crowd with everyone watching” and you’re not comfortable with that (and honestly, I don’t know many who would be) compromise. Have your fantasy session in front of an open window, or in a public bathroom. Compromise is the key here.
Talk dirty! Every guy and gal loves it when their partner takes the lead and talks dirty to them. It can be using the word ‘fuck’ more than before or having the partner tell you what he/she is going to do before they do it. The anticipation is what a lot of people find most exciting! Knowing what’s going to happen before it does and waiting for it. Share your fantasies with your partner, even if they are far-fetched! Just giving voice to some of them is putting them into reality. Communication is key. Words like harder, faster, oh god yes, can spur your partner into more action. Your love life is not the place to be quiet. If your partner doesn’t know what you like, how is he/she going to do it?
If you haven’t yet, buy a new adult toy to use in your sessions. It can be something as simple as a bullet or as wild as a huge dildo. Just having it available during your session increases your anticipation of using it. Again, it’s key to talk to your partner on what’s ok and what isn’t. You don’t want to pull out a butt plug and hand cuffs and cuff your partner up to the bedpost and then use the plug unless you’re sure they are into that. I always say, start small and work up to that. Read up on what toys are good for what, or better yet, contact your local romance party rep and talk to them. They are more informative on touch and toys than your local store is. Besides, would you want to talk to a perfect stranger about a toy? Here would be the conversation:
“Uhm, yeah, so this double vibrator, the one with the rabbit on it, yeah, that one…Is it going to be what I want to get him turned on?”
You would get the ‘look’ from the clerk and they would hand you a line. With your consultant, he/she will know what your talking about and give you pointers of how to use it with your partner. New to toys? Your consultant can help you find a toy that will work for what you’re looking for. And the nice thing of talking with your consultant is it’s all private. You don’t have anyone else standing in line listening to your conversation and smirking at you! Believe me, being a romance consultant, I’ve heard it all!
With these little tips and tricks, you can turn your stale love life into that steamy sex that you used to have and still crave. You can always email me directly with any questions, lavishdelight@yahoo.com.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
That Big O
What’s up with the Big “O”?
Orgasm. Yup, I said the word. We all want it, crave it and of course strive for it when we have sex, but do we really know what it is? Now, I’m sure some of you will say, “I really don’t CARE, as long as I have it.” These days most women want orgasms. That wasn't always the case. A couple of generations or so ago, many adult females simply didn't have climaxes – and a lot of them weren't bothered about it. Probably a lot of them didn't actually know what an orgasm was. But there is information you do need to help make it easier for you and help you understand the ins and outs of it…and maybe you can gently pass it to your partner to help them help you achieve it more!
So, what is an orgasm? Orgasm is the point at which all sexual tension is suddenly released in a series of involuntary and pleasurable muscular contractions that may be felt in the vagina and/or uterus (although some women experience orgasms without contractions). Orgasm is reached through copulation or masturbation.
During orgasm the body stiffens and the muscles contract. Involuntary muscle contractions and spasms may occur in various parts of the body, including your legs, stomach, arms, and back. The muscles of the vagina relax and contract rapidly, as do the muscles of the uterus. The glands of the vagina discharge a watery substance, which acts to lubricate the vagina.
The main physical changes that occur during a sexual experience are a result of vasocongestion. This is the accumulation of blood in various parts of the body. Muscular tension increases and other changes occur throughout your body also.
The difference between a "clitoral" and a "vaginal" orgasm has to do with where you are being stimulated to achieve orgasm, not where you feel the orgasm. The clitoris has a central role in elevating feelings of sexual tension. During sexual excitement, the clitoris swells and changes position. The blood vessels through the whole pelvic area also swell, causing engorgement and creating a feeling of fullness and sexual sensitivity. Your inner vaginal lips swell and change shape. Your vagina balloons upward, and your uterus shifts position in your pelvis.
There are several parts of the body that play into the orgasm. By taking a look at them and understanding what their purpose is, you will be able to get a better understanding to your body, and ultimately help you achieve orgasm more.
Clitoris
The clitoris’ only function is to provide pleasure for women. Researchers have not been able to discover any other reason for its existence, which is fine by us. As well, keep in mind that, because the clitoris is much easier to find, female orgasm is usually achieved via clitoral stimulation. This tiny organ contains a high concentration of nerve endings, and you can find it outside and at the top of the vagina. The clitoris is covered by a little bit of skin called the "clitoral hood," which keeps it from being stimulated all the time, so you may have to coax the clitoris out by touching or licking it. Once she's aroused, the hood will draw back and the clitoris will become slightly erect. And did you know that as women can experience our own ‘blue balls’? If a woman gets incredibly turned on, her clitoris, like the penis, becomes engorged with blood. If the blood isn't released via orgasm, she will experience discomfort -- just as men do.
Vagina
Inside the vagina, you can find the infamous G-Spot, or the Grafenberg spot. The G-spot is located on the front wall (toward the navel) of the vagina, between the opening and the cervix. Theory dictates that the G-spot can be either a bundle of nerves coming from the clitoris or a gland (or series of glands) that produces lubrication. The internal walls of the vagina itself do not have a great supply of nerve endings, thus are not very sensitive to touch. The outer one-third of the vagina, especially near the opening, contains nearly 90 percent of the vaginal nerve endings and therefore is much more sensitive to touch than the inner two-thirds of the vaginal barrel.
The "G" spot
The G spot was named for the German physician Ernst Grafenberg who first described "an erotic zone located on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra that would swell during sexual stimulation." It's a bundle of nerve endings about two inches up from the pubic bone on the inner, upper wall of the vagina. To find the G-spot, gently slide your finger inside her vagina with your palm facing up, then curling your finger up in a "come hither" motion. Be warned — some women love having their G-spot directly stimulated, while others prefer less pressure on this sensitive area. During G Spot orgasm, a large amount of fluid may suddenly gush out through the urethra. It is difficult to estimate how much fluid is expelled. I have heard amounts ranging from one cup to 2 quarts. The G Spot fluid is colorless, (urine is yellow), it smells sweet like clover, (urine smells like urine), it does not stain the mattress, (urine certainly does).
Let’s look at the four stages of an orgasm. Arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution.
1. Arousal
Arousal is sometimes referred to as feeling "turned on." It is a combination of mental arousal and physical changes. These physical changes include an increase in heart rate, rapid breathing, flushing, increased sensitivity in the genital area, erection of the penis, erection of the clitoris and swelling and lubrication of the vagina.
2. Plateau
During the plateau phase, sexual and muscular tension intensifies. The male usually ejaculates a small amount of sperm. It is possible to impregnate his partner with this release. Both male and females will feel increased sensitivity in the body and increased heart rate.
3. Orgasm
During orgasm, sexual pleasure peaks and sexual tension is released. The body stiffens and the muscles contract. Involuntary muscle contractions and spasms may occur in various parts of the body, including the legs, stomach, arms and back. For females, the muscles of the vagina relax and contract rapidly, as do the muscles of the uterus. The glands of the vagina (Bartholin's glands) discharge a watery secretion, which acts to lubricate the vagina. The male ejaculates sperm during this stage. Finally, endorphins (the chemical in the brain that causes feelings of happiness) are released. This stage lasts only a few seconds for males and females.
4. Resolution
This fourth stage is the period where there is a gradual return of the body to its baseline state. It is usually accompanied by a sense of warmth, pleasure and relaxation. This stage can be reached without orgasm. It also occurs when extreme sexual arousal ceases. Most males are unable to have another orgasm during this period of time, called a refractory period. The length of time in the refractory period depends on age and other factors. Many women return to the plateau phase after orgasm, allowing them to have a second or more orgasms very shortly after the first.
Usually, after one orgasm, guys need to rest (unless you have one of those lucky guys who can achieve multiples), but it's believed that women can experience three tempos of orgasm, which include the single orgasm, the serial multiple orgasm and the sequential multiple orgasm.
So, what now? You have the mechanics and the spots, where do you go from here? And how do you start to ‘train’ your partner in what you need? There are certain things that will help your partner understand what you need without having to get into a lecture. Most guys honestly want to please their woman. They do! They just don’t always understand that our mechanics are different than theirs. We need more stimulation than they do. We need foreplay! Yes, guys may be pretty much ready to go from the minute you give him a sideways glance or after he sees you in that one bra he really likes. But you, on the other hand, may need plenty of physical and emotional stimulation to become aroused, lubricated, and primed for an orgasm. That's why foreplay is so crucial.
Above all else, emphasize the "play" in foreplay. It's shouldn't be rushed or treated like an obligatory task. In fact, foreplay can begin hours before sex actually occurs, and every minute of it will prepare nor only YOU for an orgasm, but also him. Here are some tips for getting both of you in the mood:
Use your head. Remember that for women, mental stimulation is as important as emotional stimulation. A sexy love note, a flirtatious call at work, and other sorts of playful fun can get her thinking about your upcoming liaison. Candles, fresh flowers, and mood music can also create a loving and sensuous atmosphere. If you're not receiveing these with your partner, incorporate them into your activities. If you need these, DO these! All these things can work for your partner too.
Tenderness. Touching can create sexual tension even before you've started making love. Hugging, holding hands, or touching your/his thigh. Female orgasm is more likely to happen if, when you're kissing, you gently direct his hands to more erotic regions of your body. (Another hint: Yes, the breasts are erogenous zones, but they're not the only one! Try directing his hands to your back or your thighs)
Kissing. This is essential to good foreplay. Discovering new places to kiss that turn both of you on is both fun and rewarding. Try the back of his neck or shoulders for starters.
Sweet nothings. Don't forget to talk during foreplay. Women tend to be more verbal and responsive to when told that what they are doing feels good. So ask him! Do you like this? Does this feel better? The more you are verbal with him the more he will get the idea to be verbal with you.
Foreplay tools. No, I’m not talking about whips and chains! Although, if you’re into that……I’m talking about using erotic touch, taste and smell. If you want your partner to concentrate on an area, use an edible powder in that area. Brown Bag Party carries a wide array of foreplay products, all designed to help you enhance your bedroom play (well, IF you play in the bedroom). Use a feather to enhance the sensations on his body, as well as yours. Guys are very visual, so if you touch yourself, it will enhance his sexual reaction.
Remember, ultimately, achieving orgasm is your responsibility as well as your partner’s. You need to relax and open yourself up to feeling. Give in to what feels good, even if it may be new. And most importantly, have fun! Sex isn’t a game or a race to see who finishes first. It’s meant to be enjoyed.
One other tip, and this comes from my husband. Ladies, if you think that guys don’t like all of the above mentioned acts, think again. Guys enjoy the feel of our hands running over their bodies, our talking ‘naughty’ to them, running our tongues on their skin and playing with their hair as much as we do. By doing what WE like to them, they get the subtle hint to do it to us, and is very rewarding to us in the end. Touch and verbal cues are the biggest thing in a sexual encounter.
Talk with your partner about what you like, and use different phrases to let them know what you DON’T like. There is a difference in “Not so hard, that hurts” and “oooh, do it a little softer, yeah, like that”. Since most guys are wired differently than us, they hear things differently. When we tell them “Not so hard, that hurts” they hear, “Stop now, I don’t like it!” even though we mean, softer.
To view more foreplay enhancement tools, please visit my website. http://www.lavishdelight.com/. You can also drop me an email anytime with questions or thoughts. lavishdelight@yahoo.com
Credits for this article go to:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/6375-need-female-orgasms/
http://www.everydayhealth.com/mens-health/female-orgasm-secrets.aspx
http://www.talksexwithsue.com/Gspot.html
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_200/216_love_tip.html
Orgasm. Yup, I said the word. We all want it, crave it and of course strive for it when we have sex, but do we really know what it is? Now, I’m sure some of you will say, “I really don’t CARE, as long as I have it.” These days most women want orgasms. That wasn't always the case. A couple of generations or so ago, many adult females simply didn't have climaxes – and a lot of them weren't bothered about it. Probably a lot of them didn't actually know what an orgasm was. But there is information you do need to help make it easier for you and help you understand the ins and outs of it…and maybe you can gently pass it to your partner to help them help you achieve it more!
So, what is an orgasm? Orgasm is the point at which all sexual tension is suddenly released in a series of involuntary and pleasurable muscular contractions that may be felt in the vagina and/or uterus (although some women experience orgasms without contractions). Orgasm is reached through copulation or masturbation.
During orgasm the body stiffens and the muscles contract. Involuntary muscle contractions and spasms may occur in various parts of the body, including your legs, stomach, arms, and back. The muscles of the vagina relax and contract rapidly, as do the muscles of the uterus. The glands of the vagina discharge a watery substance, which acts to lubricate the vagina.
The main physical changes that occur during a sexual experience are a result of vasocongestion. This is the accumulation of blood in various parts of the body. Muscular tension increases and other changes occur throughout your body also.
The difference between a "clitoral" and a "vaginal" orgasm has to do with where you are being stimulated to achieve orgasm, not where you feel the orgasm. The clitoris has a central role in elevating feelings of sexual tension. During sexual excitement, the clitoris swells and changes position. The blood vessels through the whole pelvic area also swell, causing engorgement and creating a feeling of fullness and sexual sensitivity. Your inner vaginal lips swell and change shape. Your vagina balloons upward, and your uterus shifts position in your pelvis.
There are several parts of the body that play into the orgasm. By taking a look at them and understanding what their purpose is, you will be able to get a better understanding to your body, and ultimately help you achieve orgasm more.
Clitoris
The clitoris’ only function is to provide pleasure for women. Researchers have not been able to discover any other reason for its existence, which is fine by us. As well, keep in mind that, because the clitoris is much easier to find, female orgasm is usually achieved via clitoral stimulation. This tiny organ contains a high concentration of nerve endings, and you can find it outside and at the top of the vagina. The clitoris is covered by a little bit of skin called the "clitoral hood," which keeps it from being stimulated all the time, so you may have to coax the clitoris out by touching or licking it. Once she's aroused, the hood will draw back and the clitoris will become slightly erect. And did you know that as women can experience our own ‘blue balls’? If a woman gets incredibly turned on, her clitoris, like the penis, becomes engorged with blood. If the blood isn't released via orgasm, she will experience discomfort -- just as men do.
Vagina
Inside the vagina, you can find the infamous G-Spot, or the Grafenberg spot. The G-spot is located on the front wall (toward the navel) of the vagina, between the opening and the cervix. Theory dictates that the G-spot can be either a bundle of nerves coming from the clitoris or a gland (or series of glands) that produces lubrication. The internal walls of the vagina itself do not have a great supply of nerve endings, thus are not very sensitive to touch. The outer one-third of the vagina, especially near the opening, contains nearly 90 percent of the vaginal nerve endings and therefore is much more sensitive to touch than the inner two-thirds of the vaginal barrel.
The "G" spot
The G spot was named for the German physician Ernst Grafenberg who first described "an erotic zone located on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra that would swell during sexual stimulation." It's a bundle of nerve endings about two inches up from the pubic bone on the inner, upper wall of the vagina. To find the G-spot, gently slide your finger inside her vagina with your palm facing up, then curling your finger up in a "come hither" motion. Be warned — some women love having their G-spot directly stimulated, while others prefer less pressure on this sensitive area. During G Spot orgasm, a large amount of fluid may suddenly gush out through the urethra. It is difficult to estimate how much fluid is expelled. I have heard amounts ranging from one cup to 2 quarts. The G Spot fluid is colorless, (urine is yellow), it smells sweet like clover, (urine smells like urine), it does not stain the mattress, (urine certainly does).
Let’s look at the four stages of an orgasm. Arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution.
1. Arousal
Arousal is sometimes referred to as feeling "turned on." It is a combination of mental arousal and physical changes. These physical changes include an increase in heart rate, rapid breathing, flushing, increased sensitivity in the genital area, erection of the penis, erection of the clitoris and swelling and lubrication of the vagina.
2. Plateau
During the plateau phase, sexual and muscular tension intensifies. The male usually ejaculates a small amount of sperm. It is possible to impregnate his partner with this release. Both male and females will feel increased sensitivity in the body and increased heart rate.
3. Orgasm
During orgasm, sexual pleasure peaks and sexual tension is released. The body stiffens and the muscles contract. Involuntary muscle contractions and spasms may occur in various parts of the body, including the legs, stomach, arms and back. For females, the muscles of the vagina relax and contract rapidly, as do the muscles of the uterus. The glands of the vagina (Bartholin's glands) discharge a watery secretion, which acts to lubricate the vagina. The male ejaculates sperm during this stage. Finally, endorphins (the chemical in the brain that causes feelings of happiness) are released. This stage lasts only a few seconds for males and females.
4. Resolution
This fourth stage is the period where there is a gradual return of the body to its baseline state. It is usually accompanied by a sense of warmth, pleasure and relaxation. This stage can be reached without orgasm. It also occurs when extreme sexual arousal ceases. Most males are unable to have another orgasm during this period of time, called a refractory period. The length of time in the refractory period depends on age and other factors. Many women return to the plateau phase after orgasm, allowing them to have a second or more orgasms very shortly after the first.
Usually, after one orgasm, guys need to rest (unless you have one of those lucky guys who can achieve multiples), but it's believed that women can experience three tempos of orgasm, which include the single orgasm, the serial multiple orgasm and the sequential multiple orgasm.
So, what now? You have the mechanics and the spots, where do you go from here? And how do you start to ‘train’ your partner in what you need? There are certain things that will help your partner understand what you need without having to get into a lecture. Most guys honestly want to please their woman. They do! They just don’t always understand that our mechanics are different than theirs. We need more stimulation than they do. We need foreplay! Yes, guys may be pretty much ready to go from the minute you give him a sideways glance or after he sees you in that one bra he really likes. But you, on the other hand, may need plenty of physical and emotional stimulation to become aroused, lubricated, and primed for an orgasm. That's why foreplay is so crucial.
Above all else, emphasize the "play" in foreplay. It's shouldn't be rushed or treated like an obligatory task. In fact, foreplay can begin hours before sex actually occurs, and every minute of it will prepare nor only YOU for an orgasm, but also him. Here are some tips for getting both of you in the mood:
Use your head. Remember that for women, mental stimulation is as important as emotional stimulation. A sexy love note, a flirtatious call at work, and other sorts of playful fun can get her thinking about your upcoming liaison. Candles, fresh flowers, and mood music can also create a loving and sensuous atmosphere. If you're not receiveing these with your partner, incorporate them into your activities. If you need these, DO these! All these things can work for your partner too.
Tenderness. Touching can create sexual tension even before you've started making love. Hugging, holding hands, or touching your/his thigh. Female orgasm is more likely to happen if, when you're kissing, you gently direct his hands to more erotic regions of your body. (Another hint: Yes, the breasts are erogenous zones, but they're not the only one! Try directing his hands to your back or your thighs)
Kissing. This is essential to good foreplay. Discovering new places to kiss that turn both of you on is both fun and rewarding. Try the back of his neck or shoulders for starters.
Sweet nothings. Don't forget to talk during foreplay. Women tend to be more verbal and responsive to when told that what they are doing feels good. So ask him! Do you like this? Does this feel better? The more you are verbal with him the more he will get the idea to be verbal with you.
Foreplay tools. No, I’m not talking about whips and chains! Although, if you’re into that……I’m talking about using erotic touch, taste and smell. If you want your partner to concentrate on an area, use an edible powder in that area. Brown Bag Party carries a wide array of foreplay products, all designed to help you enhance your bedroom play (well, IF you play in the bedroom). Use a feather to enhance the sensations on his body, as well as yours. Guys are very visual, so if you touch yourself, it will enhance his sexual reaction.
Remember, ultimately, achieving orgasm is your responsibility as well as your partner’s. You need to relax and open yourself up to feeling. Give in to what feels good, even if it may be new. And most importantly, have fun! Sex isn’t a game or a race to see who finishes first. It’s meant to be enjoyed.
One other tip, and this comes from my husband. Ladies, if you think that guys don’t like all of the above mentioned acts, think again. Guys enjoy the feel of our hands running over their bodies, our talking ‘naughty’ to them, running our tongues on their skin and playing with their hair as much as we do. By doing what WE like to them, they get the subtle hint to do it to us, and is very rewarding to us in the end. Touch and verbal cues are the biggest thing in a sexual encounter.
Talk with your partner about what you like, and use different phrases to let them know what you DON’T like. There is a difference in “Not so hard, that hurts” and “oooh, do it a little softer, yeah, like that”. Since most guys are wired differently than us, they hear things differently. When we tell them “Not so hard, that hurts” they hear, “Stop now, I don’t like it!” even though we mean, softer.
To view more foreplay enhancement tools, please visit my website. http://www.lavishdelight.com/. You can also drop me an email anytime with questions or thoughts. lavishdelight@yahoo.com
Credits for this article go to:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/6375-need-female-orgasms/
http://www.everydayhealth.com/mens-health/female-orgasm-secrets.aspx
http://www.talksexwithsue.com/Gspot.html
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_200/216_love_tip.html
Monday, March 22, 2010
What's up with all the lube?
Being a Brown Bag Party consultant has given me the opportunity to learn about a lot of things. One of the most common things asked of me is "What is the best lube to use?" I can always give my opinion, but there are others out there who need more information. Because of this, I've done some major research into the lubes on the market. What I found was shocking to say the least! Even stuff I didn't know! So, I'm passing the information along to you. Stuff like the use of lubricants has been shown to DECREASE your chance of getting pregnant. Huh. Who'd of thought that? Well check this out! http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/infertility/lubricants.htm
As for the top selling lube, that would be K-Y. In 2005, it was on the lable of 7 of the top 10 selling lubes, over 2/3 of the sales of lubricant, thanks to the creation of the warming gels and massage oils. Well, guess what? K-Y Jelly is also leading the way in the worst ingredients! Here's a list of them:
Glycerine (emollient), Hydroxyethylcellulose (emollient) , Gluconolactone (antimicrobial, controls ph), Chlorhexidine digluconate (antiseptic), Methylparaben (preservative) Sodium hydroxide (preservative, controls ph). So what does this all mean? Well, read this and if you're a user, you'll want to throw it in the nearest trash can!
Glycerine: can cause skin dryness over time and this in turn can make it more prone to absorbing harmful chemicals. Glycerine has been shown to be toxic to sperm and it is also a sugar, so can feed candida albicans. Should be avoided by women prone to thrush.
Hydroxyethylcellulose: a cellulose derivative also often found in dry-eye medications. No known toxic effect; howeer, this ingredient is poorly studied
Gluconolactone: Harsh alpha hydroxyl acid often used in the treament of acne. Can irritate skin and eyes.
Chlorhexidine digluconate: Often found as the active ingredient in mouthwashes designed to kill dental plaque. Mildly toxic by ingestion; also a skiin and eye irritant. Laboratory evidence suggess that it may cause cellular mutatins.
Methylparaben: Parabens are known to be oestrogenic and exposure has been associated with the proliferation of breast cancer cells in the lab. Irritating to the skin and may cause contact allergies.
Sodium hydroxide: Can cause irritation to the skin and (if it comes in contact with them) eyes.
Mucous membranes are the moist layer of semi-permeable tissue lining the mouth, nose, eyes, vagina and anus. Because they do not have the protective layer found on the surface of the outer skin, mucous membranes can be damaged, irritated and penetrated by synthetic chemicals much more easily. Rectal and vaginal absorption is, generally speaking, many times greater than oral absorption.
You can read more here: http://www.yesyesyes.org/downloads/Ecologist_article.pdf
Let's take a look at the other top brand that's sold in most chain stores: Astroglide
Here's a list of their ingredients:
Original liquid product
Purified water, glycerin, propylene glycol, polyquaternium 15, methylparaben, and propylparaben.
Ok, we covered glycerine, but what of the others? Well as you can see, the last two ingredients contain parabens. And here's something you don't know about them: The FDA is currently preparing to force removal of parabens. Studies have shown a link to breast cancer, allergic skin reactions and damage to sperm. Parbens are used in foods as well as cosmetics and the amount in the body is what causes reactions.
FDA MSDS number: M7700 effective 5/19/08 http://www.jtbaker.com/msds/englishhtml/m7700.htm
So, then what of this polyquanternium 15? Well, read this! Polyquaternium is a newly coined word used to emphasize the presence of quaternary ammonium in the polymer. Quaternary ammonium can cause toxic effects by ingestion. Dermal [skin] application can cause irritation and allergic reactions. http://www.inchem.org/documents/pims/chemical/pimg022.htm
Uugg!
Now, let's take a look at Brown Bag Party's top selling lubes and lets start with System Jo H20:
JO H20 Water based lubricant has all the benefits of the Original System JO Personal Lubricant, similar in feel and viscosity, yet contains NO OIL, WAX or SILICONE. JO H2O is 100% latex safe and manufactured under strict US FDA guidelines. It enhances your sense of pleasure like no other water based lubricant. Ingredients: Proypl Paraben, Methyl Paraben, Sodium Carboxy, Methyl Cellulose, Glycerine, Purified Water, Vitamin E.
So, let's look at Pjur: Super-concentrated making it longer lasting and much less expensive drop-per-drop than other brands. Designed especially for the the soft and sensitive skin of women, Pjur Woman Bodyglide is an excellent skin conditioner and moisturizer. Bodyglides do not block your pores so no clean-up is required after use, plus Pjur Woman Bodyglides never get sticky. Works well in water too!!
Ingredients:
Cyclopentasiloxane, Dimethicone, Dimethiconol
Silicone, much like mineral oil, coats the skins surface. Siloxanes are a group of chemicals that are based on silicon. Silicon is a naturally occuring chemical element that makes up around 26% of the earths crust. This makes it the second most abundant chemical after oxygen! Silicon can be found in many minerals such as those found in clay, sand, mica, Opal, Amethyst and quartz. Read more: http://realizebeauty.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/siloxanes-in-the-news-are-they-bad-for-you/
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-dimethicone.htm
As you can see, it's always best to know what you're using and how it affects your body. Want more information? Feel free to email me at lavishdelight@yahoo.com or call me at 715-497-9529
As for the top selling lube, that would be K-Y. In 2005, it was on the lable of 7 of the top 10 selling lubes, over 2/3 of the sales of lubricant, thanks to the creation of the warming gels and massage oils. Well, guess what? K-Y Jelly is also leading the way in the worst ingredients! Here's a list of them:
Glycerine (emollient), Hydroxyethylcellulose (emollient) , Gluconolactone (antimicrobial, controls ph), Chlorhexidine digluconate (antiseptic), Methylparaben (preservative) Sodium hydroxide (preservative, controls ph). So what does this all mean? Well, read this and if you're a user, you'll want to throw it in the nearest trash can!
Glycerine: can cause skin dryness over time and this in turn can make it more prone to absorbing harmful chemicals. Glycerine has been shown to be toxic to sperm and it is also a sugar, so can feed candida albicans. Should be avoided by women prone to thrush.
Hydroxyethylcellulose: a cellulose derivative also often found in dry-eye medications. No known toxic effect; howeer, this ingredient is poorly studied
Gluconolactone: Harsh alpha hydroxyl acid often used in the treament of acne. Can irritate skin and eyes.
Chlorhexidine digluconate: Often found as the active ingredient in mouthwashes designed to kill dental plaque. Mildly toxic by ingestion; also a skiin and eye irritant. Laboratory evidence suggess that it may cause cellular mutatins.
Methylparaben: Parabens are known to be oestrogenic and exposure has been associated with the proliferation of breast cancer cells in the lab. Irritating to the skin and may cause contact allergies.
Sodium hydroxide: Can cause irritation to the skin and (if it comes in contact with them) eyes.
Mucous membranes are the moist layer of semi-permeable tissue lining the mouth, nose, eyes, vagina and anus. Because they do not have the protective layer found on the surface of the outer skin, mucous membranes can be damaged, irritated and penetrated by synthetic chemicals much more easily. Rectal and vaginal absorption is, generally speaking, many times greater than oral absorption.
You can read more here: http://www.yesyesyes.org/downloads/Ecologist_article.pdf
Let's take a look at the other top brand that's sold in most chain stores: Astroglide
Here's a list of their ingredients:
Original liquid product
Purified water, glycerin, propylene glycol, polyquaternium 15, methylparaben, and propylparaben.
Ok, we covered glycerine, but what of the others? Well as you can see, the last two ingredients contain parabens. And here's something you don't know about them: The FDA is currently preparing to force removal of parabens. Studies have shown a link to breast cancer, allergic skin reactions and damage to sperm. Parbens are used in foods as well as cosmetics and the amount in the body is what causes reactions.
FDA MSDS number: M7700 effective 5/19/08 http://www.jtbaker.com/msds/englishhtml/m7700.htm
So, then what of this polyquanternium 15? Well, read this! Polyquaternium is a newly coined word used to emphasize the presence of quaternary ammonium in the polymer. Quaternary ammonium can cause toxic effects by ingestion. Dermal [skin] application can cause irritation and allergic reactions. http://www.inchem.org/documents/pims/chemical/pimg022.htm
Uugg!
Now, let's take a look at Brown Bag Party's top selling lubes and lets start with System Jo H20:
JO H20 Water based lubricant has all the benefits of the Original System JO Personal Lubricant, similar in feel and viscosity, yet contains NO OIL, WAX or SILICONE. JO H2O is 100% latex safe and manufactured under strict US FDA guidelines. It enhances your sense of pleasure like no other water based lubricant. Ingredients: Proypl Paraben, Methyl Paraben, Sodium Carboxy, Methyl Cellulose, Glycerine, Purified Water, Vitamin E.
So, let's look at Pjur: Super-concentrated making it longer lasting and much less expensive drop-per-drop than other brands. Designed especially for the the soft and sensitive skin of women, Pjur Woman Bodyglide is an excellent skin conditioner and moisturizer. Bodyglides do not block your pores so no clean-up is required after use, plus Pjur Woman Bodyglides never get sticky. Works well in water too!!
Ingredients:
Cyclopentasiloxane, Dimethicone, Dimethiconol
Silicone, much like mineral oil, coats the skins surface. Siloxanes are a group of chemicals that are based on silicon. Silicon is a naturally occuring chemical element that makes up around 26% of the earths crust. This makes it the second most abundant chemical after oxygen! Silicon can be found in many minerals such as those found in clay, sand, mica, Opal, Amethyst and quartz. Read more: http://realizebeauty.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/siloxanes-in-the-news-are-they-bad-for-you/
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-dimethicone.htm
As you can see, it's always best to know what you're using and how it affects your body. Want more information? Feel free to email me at lavishdelight@yahoo.com or call me at 715-497-9529
Monday, March 8, 2010
Brown Bag Party Leads The Way Again!
http://www.i-newswire.com/brown-bag-party-goes-phthalate/25233
Brown Bag Party Goes Phthalate Free - Romance Home Party Company Improves Products
Romance Home Party company Brown Bag Party announces its intent to discontinue the sale of any of its adult toys that contain Phthalates by October 1st, 2010
(I-Newswire) March 7, 2010 -
Brown Bag Party Goes Phthalate-Free
Costa Mesa, CA. - Saturday, March 6th, 2010
Romance home party company Brown Bag Party, today announced their commitment to completely eliminate the sale of any adult products they offer that contain Phthalates as of October 1st, 2010.
“I’m so happy to finally announce our new product directive, it will truly change the way customers look at our company. Our goal is to continually improve our products from not only a customer demand standpoint, but from a quality of materials standpoint as well.” said Peter Palmiotto, CEO of Brown Bag Party.
“While the use of phthalates in adult toys is still a hotly debated topic, we felt that it’s our duty to our romance consultants to remove any chance of our customers saying “no” to any of our products. Like it or not, anti-phthalate customers exist, and are growing in numbers. This improvement keeps our customers safe and happy, and our shows our consultants we’re committed to quality and consistently improving what we offer.” He added.
“Regardless of any potential downsides to the use of phthalates, if we ever have the opportunity to remove chemicals from our products, we should, and so should others in this marketplace. There are enough phthalate-free options today from the dozen or so mega-distributors that there’s no reason not to. We’d like to be as pro-active as possible.” Palmiotto explained.
“This is a big step for us and a huge capital commitment to change out 10 to 15 products. The good news is we already offer 50 adult products that are phthalate-free, so we don’t have that far to go. It’s been a personal goal of mine since our inception and are we’re now ready to go completely phthalate-free.”
For more information on Brown Bag Party, please visit www.BrownBagParty.com or contact the corporate office at 3303 Harbor Blvd. Unit B2, Costa Mesa, CA. 92626 - TEL: 714.557.0468.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Always remember, you can contact me at any time!
Deanna
lavishdelight@yahoo.com
http://www.lavishdelight.com/
715-497-9529
Brown Bag Party Goes Phthalate Free - Romance Home Party Company Improves Products
Romance Home Party company Brown Bag Party announces its intent to discontinue the sale of any of its adult toys that contain Phthalates by October 1st, 2010
(I-Newswire) March 7, 2010 -
Brown Bag Party Goes Phthalate-Free
Costa Mesa, CA. - Saturday, March 6th, 2010
Romance home party company Brown Bag Party, today announced their commitment to completely eliminate the sale of any adult products they offer that contain Phthalates as of October 1st, 2010.
“I’m so happy to finally announce our new product directive, it will truly change the way customers look at our company. Our goal is to continually improve our products from not only a customer demand standpoint, but from a quality of materials standpoint as well.” said Peter Palmiotto, CEO of Brown Bag Party.
“While the use of phthalates in adult toys is still a hotly debated topic, we felt that it’s our duty to our romance consultants to remove any chance of our customers saying “no” to any of our products. Like it or not, anti-phthalate customers exist, and are growing in numbers. This improvement keeps our customers safe and happy, and our shows our consultants we’re committed to quality and consistently improving what we offer.” He added.
“Regardless of any potential downsides to the use of phthalates, if we ever have the opportunity to remove chemicals from our products, we should, and so should others in this marketplace. There are enough phthalate-free options today from the dozen or so mega-distributors that there’s no reason not to. We’d like to be as pro-active as possible.” Palmiotto explained.
“This is a big step for us and a huge capital commitment to change out 10 to 15 products. The good news is we already offer 50 adult products that are phthalate-free, so we don’t have that far to go. It’s been a personal goal of mine since our inception and are we’re now ready to go completely phthalate-free.”
For more information on Brown Bag Party, please visit www.BrownBagParty.com or contact the corporate office at 3303 Harbor Blvd. Unit B2, Costa Mesa, CA. 92626 - TEL: 714.557.0468.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Always remember, you can contact me at any time!
Deanna
lavishdelight@yahoo.com
http://www.lavishdelight.com/
715-497-9529
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